Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Hard Choices



My baby is a failure. Yep, he failed his hearing test today--in both ears. His dad is so proud. "There's nothing like starting out really low in life so everyone will be proud of each little achievement you make." Just kidding of course. But herein lies our tough choice: persistent fluid behind the eardrums, chronic infections, no sleeping at night, and now impaired hearing--are we jumping the gun to have tubes put in our 10-month-old's ears?

I have two school-teacher friends. Sometimes when they get together they complain about "parents." And although I know they are both reasonable people, not ones to blow things out of proportion, and although I *think* they both believe that Jeremy and I do an adequate job as parents, I still can't help but feel on the defensive around those conversations.

My argument? It is really hard being a parent! It is really hard to make choices about what will be in the best interest of your child. We are constantly second-guessing our choices and theories and ways of doing things. Sometimes looking back we feel we made a good decision, sometimes looking back we feel we made the wrong decision, and sometimes there will never be any way for us to tell.

We've made the decision to have the tubes put in. The diagnosis today of hearing troubles, makes us feel good about the decision. Now the only thing we can do is sit back, wait, hope and pray it's the right decision.

Wish us luck with surgery on Monday--or pray for us--whichever you're inclined to do:-)

9 comments:

Ashley said...

We had tubes put in Carter's ears when he was almost two. I fretted and worried about it and IT WAS NOTHING! We went to the surgery place and got all sterile. I went with him to the O.R. and held him while he fell asleep. Then I left and cried. I was so worried about it. In ten minutes, literally, the Dr came in and said "We're all done, everything went great." They brought Carter back in and he woke up. He was groggy and a little whiney, but there was never any indication that his ears hurt. When he could eat and was pretty awake, we went home. From that moment on you'd have never known anything had happened. He was just his happy, normal self. And the great part-no more ear infections and he could hear. It is no big deal, I promise. You're doing the right thing, so don't worry about it. I worried way too much! Let us know how it all goes.
The only crappy part, pardon me, is that you can't put their head in the water, so you have to be careful bathing and swimming for a while, but you'll find even that's not a big deal. I'll be thinking of you!

Brian's Wife said...

I think you are doing the right thing as a parent and a teacher. He is at a critical age for language devlopment and if he can't hear or can't hear correctly he will fall behind and you don't want that. And as a parent you hate watching your child be in pain, and lets face it everyone needs sleep!! We will be praying for you and Jonas. I am sure it will be just fine. Heaven knows I have had 2 babies with a history of horrible ear infections. I wish that I would have pushed the Dr. a little harder with "C" because I think that his ear infections are a contributing factor to some of the speech errors we are currently facing. Anyway I could go on and on....but know we love you and fully support your decision. And as far as your friends go (I'm not one of them am I? If so I am soo sorry! I would never want to make you second guess yourself or feel defensive.)....remember you are the parents and you know your child best! You are doing a FANTASTIC job with the boys!! They are pretty lucky to have you and Jeremy for their parents!

Jeanette said...

Thanks for the encouragement. Shanna-welcome to the world of having your own blogger-id!

Christi said...

We will be praying for you and for Jonas!! You are doing a great job!!!! I would do the same thing if I had a child. :)

Meridth Gimbel said...

I'm sorry to hear that Jeanette. That definitely is overwhelming. Edward and I will definitely be praying for you guys. We love you.

Anonymous said...

Being a parent IS hard. It really doesn't get easier when they're married and gone from home. You can still make decisions that go the wrong way, even when you're trying your best to help out. You can only pray that in the grand scheme of things, everyone will know and understand why you made the decisions you made. You are a great Mommy, Jeanette, and make your decisions based on true principles. That guarantees your success!

Melissa said...

Good luck today I hope all goes well

Jeanette said...

Thanks for all your well-wishes. Everything went off today without any problems. Hopefully really soon he will be a happy happy boy!

Wayland said...

Even on your worse day, you are a WAY BETTER mom then the one's I complain about, and so is Jeremy about being a Dad. I pick up many greatfull tips from hanging with you and the fam. :) You aren't one to rush into decisions, and you do what you feel is best for your child. You nurture, feed and love your children and what is right for one child/family, isn't right for another, so DON'T let anyone tell you you are not doing a good job because I look up to you as a parent! I would love to teach children like yours because you actually care and do things to make sure that what is best for your child, is done! Keep up the great work!

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