Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Change of Plans
We moved here three years ago with a goal, with a plan. Earn a Masters degree, and go get a job.
But life is not simple.
We are now two weeks past graduation, with no long-term plan. And the crazy part is--we really feel pretty good about life right now.
We had this time-frame in mind: "We need to decide what we are doing before you graduate... before you graduate... before you graduate." The closer we got to graduation, the more frustrated we were.
Now graduation has come and gone. Jeremy's all set up for the summer working as a research assistant with a few professors, and everything's fine. Life is stress-free without deadlines.
Will we stay for a PhD? Maybe, if that's what Jeremy wants. Will we get a job? Maybe, if this recession is turning around as fast as the administration is promising. Meanwhile, we are content to wait out the summer here without a plan.
There are two things that are making this whole situation easier for us to bear without paralyzing frustration. The first is the fact that we recognize that this trial seems like it was always meant for us to bear. There's not a different choice we could have made to not be in this situation right now. If we had done Jeremy's masters work at a different university, or even done a completely different degree program, we would still be graduation this semester.This semester in which the country's economy is at the lowest low in decades. So a degree from a different school (only Harvard is better), in a different state, or even in another field would not be any more likely to producing a job for us right now.
My second thought, that I'd rather not admit because I'm the one so ready to leave town, is that our staying in town right now may not have anything to do with Jeremy or his schooling or professional development. I've felt that maybe our staying in town has more to to with me. That maybe God has some plan for my time here before we leave, and Jeremy--for once--is the one that is just along for the ride.
I don't know for sure, but they are comforting thoughts. Thoughts that make me want to hold my head high, work harder in my tasks, as a mother, a wife, and a congregation member at church. Thoughts that help me feel at peace.
Here's to the kick-off to a great summer. This afternoon we will be at the library signing up for summer reading!