Wednesday, November 10, 2010

One is the Loneliest Number

In college I decided that six kids was the perfect number to have.  I come from a family with five children.  I loved the crazy party that a family with a lot of kids provides.    I decided I could never have less than 5 or it would seem like someone else was missing.  And I was willing to have more.  But there can be too many kids as well.  So I decided that six was the perfect number because you could still drive a regular mini-van and not have to go to one of those full-sized ones--or even a bus!  Yes I decided I wanted a one minivan family please.

Jeremy and I married mid February in my junior year of university.  I really only had one semester left.  We got pregnant at the end of that summer.  Owen was born when I was 22.  I was pleased with that feeling like we had a lot of options for our future little family.  (We weren't rushed by my age or anything.)  One beautiful, bouncy, baby.  Check.

When my mom was visiting earlier this year she was in the other room changing baby Wyatt's diaper and called out, "Jeanette did you realize, you've been pregnant five times in five years?" I hadn't realized it, but Wyatt was indeed my fifth pregnancy in five years.  And once I started looking at my dates it got really interesting. 

About a year after Owen was born I found myself again pregnant.  We had just moved to Kansas, and were settling into our new apartment.  I was tired and knew before taking a pregnancy test that it would-indeed show positive.  And it did.  I was pregnant.  At about 6 weeks I started spotting.  We searched the internet for information--was I definitely miscarrying?  I was in contact with an OBGYN but since I had not yet gotten on health insurance--we just let the miscarriage proceed naturally.

Six months later I was pregnant again.  I had been visiting my sister and returned to our new apartment and was nauseated by the smell.  Stale cigarette stench coming into our apartment through the bathroom vent, closet, and kitchen piping--courtesy of our downstairs neighbors.  Within a week my oversensitive sense of smell was officially attributed to pregnancy. At six weeks I started spotting.  It was happening again.  We did bloodwork --it came back fine-- we set an ultrasound for 7 weeks.The ultrasound showed a suspected ectopic pregnancy.  My ultrasound was at 11.  I was in surgery with my OBGYN at 1.  My abdomen was full of blood and I lost my right tube.  But we were given high hopes I could still be able to have (many?) children. 

We were nervous about how easy or not it would be to get pregnant again.  After three months of healing I was pregnant and deathly afraid of another ectopic.  Your chances for having a second ectopic pregnancy are as high as 12%.  And I only had one tube.  If I lost my left tube my only option would be invitro at $10,000 a pop--that would greatly diminish the number of children we could have.  I went in for bloodwork again.  My numbers did not look quite right.  I was leaving town and afraid of what might happen if I was out of state having a problem.  So I went in for an ultrasound at a mere 5 weeks.  We went in and saw a healthy yolk sac, baby Jonas was too small to even see yet, but the yolk sac was the right size and, more importantly, inside the uterus.  That night, in my parents home, we shared our news, and there were hugs and tears all around.  I gave birth to Jonas one year and one day after my Laprascopy that removed my right tube. 

Jeremy finished up his master's degree and was trying to figure out what to do next.  Fate dictated that was as good a time as any to add to our family.  Pregnant again.  I was calm at the beginning, just allowing myself to be.  But then more scares, heavy bleeding at 11 weeks.  But Wyatt was worth all the worry.  And as I recently looked back on my very first blog post about the pregnancy I miscarried, I realized that Wyatt was born on the due date I had been given for that pregnancy--just three years later.

So here we are with three kids after six years of marriage.  I don't know how many more children are in our future.  My body's been through a lot during these five pregnancies in five years. But I do hope that it has more to give.  I definitely felt like this was not my last pregnancy.  Multiple times while pregnant with Wyatt I felt like I would be pregnant again.  But I don't know if that is once more or many more times.  We're going to have to see how life treats us.  So right now we have a family of Five.  But we'll see what our family looks like in 10 years. 

**This post is a party of a blog party hosted here that my cousin participated in. I started getting into my ectopic pregnancy and decided to split the two posts up. Today is the story of my family size at present--comeback tomorrow if you want to hear more about my ectopic pregnancy (including the pictures).

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